A great taboo – a marriage breaker
Many men and women are suffering from problems related to their sex-life and it can greatly impact an otherwise harmonious relation. Our way of relating to sex, sex-drive and and sexually related topics is ambiguous at best and hypocrisy at worst. However, that is probably not different from anywhere in the world if you spend few minutes to think about it. So, sex is an area of great misunderstandings, unspoken truths, great myths and beliefs and often little knowledge.
Just to give an example of how it’s hard for us, like so many other nations, cultures and societies, to give sex a natural place in society, we’ll just mention the following:
- It’s not unusual to find wall writings “everywhere” promising to finally do away with na-mardagi (un-manliness=impotence) and we regularly receive emails and SMS with advertisement for sex enhancement drugs
- Swearing can involve words that are explicitly of sexual nature or sexual abuse and it can be used even in common places and daily heated political discussions. Once, I was waiting in a passport control queque and the passenger behind me used the word behn**** or sister**** for the most of a telephone conversation. Loud and clear for all fellow passengers to follow.
- I’ve experienced people sit at a seminar, dinner, or anywhere and openly telling me that they are impotent or have no sexdrive or have this sexual problem and wanting an advice to deal with it
- In the Hadith we can find pretty explicit information about sex
- At very same time we can get angry and find it a great disgrace if someone talks about sex, sexlife, sexdrive or sex techniques and how to improve our sex-lives
- For some it seems to be OK to announce treatment for na-mardagi and loudly say behn@@ in a normal daily discussion but trying to deal with sexual problems that are affecting millions of people is considered un-islamic without any evidence from the source of the Prophet’s Sunna, Hadith or the Quran.
A greater acceptance of the fact that sex, our sex drive and sex-life is the very reason each one of us are alive today and that Islam does not see these subjects as taboos and that our way of dealing with it over the past many decades and centuries are more a reflection of our South Asian and Hindu inheritance than it has to do with Islam stopping us from taking the subject seriously.
Before we move on to talk about sex and sex rejuvenation, we need to get few terms straight:
It’s the inability to get or maintain an erection sufficiently to have sex. Many men will suffer from impotence at some time during their lives. It does NOT have anything to do with in-ability to have children. That is infertility. An impotent man may or may not have (or get) children.
It is NOT the same as sex drive. For instance, a person that are taking medicines for impotence will not get a boost in their libido. Sexual stimulation or arousal, physical or mental, is still required for the erection to take place. However, the treatment increases the chances of getting a sufficient erection to have sex provided the sexdrive and stimulation is there. The medicine will not lead to a completely random erection without any stimulation whatsoever.
Inability of a couple to have children. It’s NOT possible to guess what the reason is. It could be conditions in anyone of the partners and it could be conditions in both. Proper assessment and investigation are required to establish the cause of infertility.
A divorce and re-marriage or a second marriage will NOT solve the problem for the man’s part if infertility is due to some condition with him.
Also called sex drive. Libido is the urge, passion, appetite, need, drive, longing and/or desire for sex. Libido can be high or low independently of the ability to have an erection and independently of any fertility.
Lack of libido can be seen along side with impotence in men and vaginal dryness in women but it may not.
An important factor for women to enjoy sex is vaginal wetness which serves as a lubricant during sex. Vaginal wetness is increased considerably with sexual stimulation, whether physical or mental.
Some women suffer from vaginal dryness which can be due many factors, including underlying physical/medical conditions, hormonal changes, medicines, infections, physical or mental stress and exhaustion, cultural norms, personal preferences for sex and sexual activities and many other factors. Some of these factors may affect the libido which in turn may impact on vaginal lubrication.
It’s the uncontrolled ejaculation before or shortly after penetration with very little sexual stimulation, so that the male partner “finishes before even getting started” which can lead to unsatisfactory sex for both partners. There are techniques to improve this condition and prolong the time before ejaculation. Also topical treatment and medicines are available to reduce premature ejaculation.
Is the inability or difficulty to reach an orgasm despite sufficient sexual stimulation. It may take away some of the pleasure from sexual activity and it can also lead to decreased sex-drive – “as there is no point”.
A person that has never or rarely experienced an orgasm may or may not be suffering from anorgasmia. If the person or his/her partner does not know how to sexually stimulate and it could be lack of technique rather than an inability or difficulty to reach an orgasm.
Dyspareunia is pain during intercourse. It can be due to many reasons including underlying medical conditions as well as psychological reason. It can be due to factors related to the external genitals, intra-vaginal or deeper and can be a sign of cancers, infections, hormonal imbalances, skin disorders and many other reasons.
It can also be due to physical or mental stress, the mental inability to relax or enjoy sex which can lead to vaginismus (vaginal muscular spasms).
It’s important that you discuss pain during sex with your doctor. Both for the sake of your sex-life and to rule out any underlying (serious) condition.
Platelet Rich Plasma for Sexual Rejuvenation
Platelet Rich Plasma has found it’s way into various fields of medicine. It can also be used for sexual rejuvenation in men and women. Keep in mind that you may need maintenance treatment 8-12 months after the initial course and for some the effects may last much longer.
PRP may be used in the following conditions for men
- Impotence or Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
- Small or abnormal sized penises
- To increase the sexdrive or get a more erect erection even in the absence of any condition
PRP treatment in men may improve libido (=sex drive), increase sexual pleasure, increase penile girth and length and improved penile blood circulation
PRP may be used for the following conditions in women
- Decreased libido
- Vaginal dryness
- Dyspareunia (pain during intercourse)
- Urinary incontinence
PRP can improve libido, give more sexual pleasure and improve the ability to achieve climax, reduce vaginal dryness and reduce or remove dyspareunia/pain during intercourse. Keep in mind that the above conditions may be interlinked. Thus, vaginal dryness may cause pain during intercourse. The anticipation of pain may reduce libido and the pain during intercourse may lead to anorgasmia/lack of climax. Which in turn may further reduce libido. A vicious cycle is thus established which can be very hard to break out of.
In our experience the taboo surrounding sexual problems greatly impacts people’s married life and may in some cases lead to divorce or separation. A situation that can impact a great number of people, including the couple, the children and maybe an extended family. It’s a pity that we rather keep mum about these issues than deal with them.
It’s vital to mention here, that MY SKIN CLINIC strongly believes in confidentiality. A concept not fully developed or understood in Pakistan, but it has a very central role for the CEO of Dr Mohammad Mazhar Hussain, that lived in Denmark for 31 years and has received his medical training from there.